HOPEFULLY IN LOVE- Advice #2

I got another question! It’s Boxing Day! Send more? I’m surprised y’all want to know less about soup but here we are. What’s the dumbest thing YOU’VE ever heard of? Ask me about it!

So what’s up?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, we are in love and very committed!!! We are thinking about buying a house together in the next few months, is this the dumbest thing you've ever heard of?

- Helpless Homebody

The dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of? I got a million of those! Skratch Labs Rice Krispie Treats, consulting in general, Elon Musk’s urban planning, NFTs, getting handsy with your coworkers (consensually! you should still NEVER DO IT) there’s a lot of dumb shit going on out there.

You sound really in love!!! I can tell, because you know you’re old-timey automobile horn/heart outta the chest/sexy Bambi skunk led to spring fever with the three exclamation points. I’m excited for you! It sounds super fun! Y’all cute.

But, still, no! not the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Aaand…you haven’t given me any other details like, “We are thinking of buying a house together but boy, since my boyfriend moved into my room with my other roommates, I don’t know if I like his [bass guitar collection/leaving his earrings everywhere/inability to do dishes.]” Because THEN I’d probably say: hey, why not take a sec? Doing A Thing Together is indeed very committed. If you’re having the conversations about money, responsibility, debt, dealbreakers and negotiables, that sounds pretty realistic! If you’ve always wanted to buy a home, that seems reasonable! If you’re ready to stay where you are for a while, go for it!

So are you Zillowing in your apres-coital glow? Do you live together now? Have you (and JUST YOU) wanted to buy a house for a while?  Seriously, do you live together now? Are you ready to live in one place for a while? What are your incomes like? How’s your credit? Who’s handy? Who’s going to be the garage person and who’s going to be the kitchen person when you fight? Who IS the homebody? Thinking is all well and good but when it comes to merging a life with money, you have to talk about likes, dealbreakers, and your past. There’s a zillion articles out there about: financial planning for couples. Might be worth taking a look to see if you’re ready to have those conversations - and it’s okay if eight months of dating isn’t the time, either! Enjoy being in love! Take a vacation together IN a cool house! (Hi, call me, AirBNB hero)

IF you HAVEN’T been able to say scary words about worst case scenarios or talk about that possibility…. you could always wait a wee bit longer until we don’t have the literal lowest amount of housing stock in years. :( I don’t know if eight months is the dumb thing in your way right now, pal. Besides, people get divorced and deal with their mortgages and houses, and people also have to sell the houses they buy because they get a chance to go on Elon Musk’s rocket or get a consulting job. Shit happens. You’d figure it out. Maybe just take some time to figure out where y’all are at, thinking into 4 months in, a busted radiator, garbage and water fees, and your personalities in the house you buy. And be VERY honest about where you are at financially.